Should You Wait Until Your Child is Older to Divorce?

Unhappily married people with children will often contemplate if there is a “correct” age their children should be when they decide to get divorced. A lot of parents will wait until their child is older, or even grown, prior to obtaining a divorce because they feel that it will be easier. While divorcing with adult children does get rid of the component of potentially co-parenting with an ex-spouse, it is no easier for the children. When parents go through a divorce, it is hard for all children, even adult children. Regardless of age, having to navigate family events and milestones, holidays and celebrations with parents who are no longer married can be painful and difficult. This is particularly true when the divorce was less than amicable.

Waiting Until Your Child is Older — or the ‘Right’ Age

Divorce with Infants and Babies

One positive about separating when children are this young is that babies and infants do not know any different than having two separate households and two separate parents, so the separation of the parents will always feel “normal” to the child. If divorcing or separating makes both parents happier, they will know two happy, separate parents.

Divorce and School-Age Children

There is a lot of communication between parents of young children, even if they don’t have joint custody or joint allocation of parental responsibilities (decision making). There are sporting events, school events, school activities, parent-teacher conferences, and many other activities or events where both parents will be present, sometimes with new significant others, or with in-laws that the other party doesn’t care for. However, again, staying in an unhappy marriage means setting an example of unhappiness for these children, which they also will observe and internalize. The balance and weight between the good and the bad is up to personal discretion.

Divorce and Teenagers

Timing and Divorcing with Children


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