5 Secrets to Keep Your Divorce Civil Like Jeff Bezos

Is it really possible to keep your divorce civil? Yes, but easy? No. So when I read the news about Jeff Bezos divorce and his and his wife Mackenzie’s comments about how they’d reached an amicable agreement on how to end their marriage, I was glad.

As a divorce lawyer, I know one of the hardest parts of the divorce process is taking the emotion out of it so the real work can begin. No one can concentrate on the real issues while they are coping with distrust, anger, and upheaval of the end of their relationship. Their public breakup couldn’t have been more embarrassing and humiliating for MacKenzie Bezos. Having your marriage end is one thing, but to have the whole world learn about her husband’s affair on the news is quite another thing. Infidelity is hard on any divorce, but such a public disclosure sure doesn’t help things.

Mackenzie and Jeff Bezos Take the Civil Approach to Divorce

Jeff Bezos’s tweet echoed hers and praised his ex-wife, saying, “She has been an extraordinary partner, ally, and mother. She is resourceful and brilliant and loving, and as our futures unroll, I know I’ll always be learning from her.”

5 Secrets to Keep Your Divorce Civil

Every marriage that ends has to go through the same process. Kids’ schedules have to be figured out, there are decisions to be made regarding who gets the property and debt. Yet some people manage to take it more in stride than others. Of course, it is painful for everyone, but those who divorce well seem to come out of the process easier.

It always interests me to see which of my clients is going to be able to keep on track and get the job done vs. those who never seem to concentrate. Over the last 20 years, I’ve seen some similarities in people who come out of the process well.

Secret #1 — Educate Yourself On Divorce

I’d been told by a boss of mine many years ago, that you never want to fire someone on a Friday. He said to always fire them on a Monday. The reason for the Monday firing he explained, was so that the person could do something about it right away. Go file at unemployment, or fill out an application for new employment. It feels better when you can do something about your situation. For the same reason, I encourage my clients who are seeking a divorce to tell their spouse about it on a Monday. Don’t tell them on Friday when they can’t get any information for two days. It makes your spouse crazy with worry. That may be some of my clients’ goal (to make their spouse crazy), but I always try to start the process amicably, since amicable divorces cost a lot less than heavily litigated ones.

Secret #2 — Get Healthy

No one will tell you that this process will be easy, but getting healthy (or in shape) will give you the control back that you’ll be craving. You’ll be in charge of something that is happening in your life. And won’t it be great when your spouse sees you in court looking all happy and healthy! It’s a win-win!

Secret #3 — Get a Therapist

I’m a big fan of therapy. If you are worried that seeing a therapist will hurt your divorce case, don’t. Judges realize, and even encourage the parties to see a therapist. Even people who have mental illness have children and have them the majority of the time. The key is getting the help you need.

It is better for a person to realize they need some help and to go and get it, rather than the person who clearly has a problem and does nothing about it. People don’t tell others that they are seeing a therapist, likely because it embarrasses them, but there is no reason for that. This is a big life-changing event in your life and no one should be embarrassed about getting some help to go through it. The therapist will help you get through this in a good way, and they are trained to do it. Much more so than your closest friends.

Secret #4 — Remember This is Just a Transition

I’m not trying to make light of divorce and I believe people shouldn’t enter into the process lightly. But if this isn’t working for you, really, life is too short! Get out there and do something that you’ve always wanted to do.

Secret #5 — Take Your Time

The divorce process typically takes many months, even with amicable divorces. There is no reason to rush out and do anything rash. Don’t sell anything and don’t buy anything. Your reasoning will not be at its best for a while, so take decisions that change your life slowly.

Divorce Isn’s Easy But It Can Be Civil

THIS ARTICLE WAS PREVIOUSLY PUBLISHED AT: https://illinoislawforyou.com/divorce/5-secrets-to-keep-your-divorce-civil-like-jeff-bezos/

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